Nice Place to Live

The past two times I have left my trash outside my door to carry down to the dumpster, it has miraculously disappeared before I could take it downstairs. Usually I leave it on my porch so it doesn't stink up my place but I am usually also carrying a guitar or something down the stairs when I leave so I don't always put it in the dumpster immediately. Someone is beating me to it. I'm thinking it's my neighbor...I like my neighbors. :)

(Note: I'm not like...leaving it for DAYS and ignoring it so they're throwing it away in desperation...I think they're just nice).

Weeeee.

Why is it that when I need to be my most focused and on my game, I diddle around like a kid on Jolt? Oy vey. I need NEED to be productive this week, and next week is SXSW and my calendar is already so packed I can't even stand it. I need the week off work, is what I need. So many networking events! So much...PEOPLE time. Eck.

If I do not answer my phone for 2 weeks, forgive me. Send emails, loves.

This Town Is Mine

Oh a new John Jennings CD always makes a week go down nicely. Like buttah. And the best song is a 7 minute opus ending with a 3 minute guitar solo and hence the title of my post. Like you needed to know.

Today I did the church thing (as last week I missed out due to aforementioned insomnia), then walked down the street to Central Market to partake in...Sunday Morning Gospel Singers. Yes. It was so grand to sing a long to "Wade in the Water" whilst watching people eat their eggs. The awesomeness of the spring day (yes, I know it's still winter) didn't hurt, either. No eggs for me, but no issue there. I think I've hit the vegan stride. I am actually appreciating the fact that grocery shopping is 10 times easier, most of the stuff I buy now has ingredients I can pronounce, and I feel good. I don't know how or why or if it's the food I'm eating or not, but I feel good.

In fact, I'll say it here but not in the official vegan blog (I have too many blogs)...I'm scared of not being vegan. I'm scared I'll puke when I eat beef for the first time in 3 months, scared I'll go back to nasty eating habits, scared of the increased number of food choices open to me. I think I'll remain vegan at home but not be so picky when I eat out, though I'll try and vegetarianify most things...for the most part. I made that word up.

It just seems like a good constant to have in life, to not worry about beef or chicken or e coli or salmonella or this aisle or that aisle...to have a diet that rules out so many things but does not seem like a lifestyle of deprivation. I have enough choices to make in a day, and so many things I worry about...that eating well needs to be automatic and not a struggle. It's always been a struggle. Maybe being a vegan makes it less of a one.

It's also a grand excuse for not accepting food. No one lets you go with "I'm on a diet." You get ridiculed, or over-flattered, or something. ("Oh you don't NEED to be on a diet!" Oh yes I do.) Then you end up eating a 400 calorie something. That 400 calories does me no good. It's a fact, and not the musings of a future anorexic. :) I have not taken a piece of cake or rice crispie treat at work for 3 months, all the while watching that stuff get horked down at 9 am like it was Cheerios. Sigh. I don't want to do that. Bah.

presidential.

Well. I had a suitable day of napping, laptopping, and some well-timed cleaning. (I let things get a little too...meh sometimes). I tried to write and no direction came. I hate that.

I went through a pitcher of "mixed berry" stuff.

I found a t-shirt at the thrift store that says "Ruidoso, New Mexico." Purple.

I am in love with Odwalla bars.

I sat on my patio in the sunshine and enjoyed the first little bit of spring we've had.

I didn't go to bed until 4:30 AM on Sunday, and I think my schedule is now suitably screwed up.

I did finish the new website.

If I get one more friend request on Myspace from someone who wants to give me a free iPod I'll scream.

Same Old.

Remember how last week I was all...extroverted-out? I did it again. My week:

Monday: work, then stayed home.
Tuesday: work, then happy hour gig from 5-7, then off to watch a showcase until 11
Wednesday: work, then open mic from 8 - 12:30
Thursday: work, then postering for Jana Banana Rama, then beer, then watching a show at the Cactus Cafe' until 12:30
Friday: work, then gig til 11
Saturday: SLEEP IN (yay), gig for 2.5 hours, seeing Terri Hendrix at the Cactus TONITE

I am all socialled out. It's been fun, though. However, I think starting tomorrow I will hermit myself and only go out for necessities. :) I need to be in fine guitar shape for SXSW Week and would like to have a new song or 2 to debut as well. Does anyone care? No. I am just typing out my life to myself. Please ignore. :)

Diet Coke is grand. I need more than 5 hours of sleep.

Big Apple Bound

Well. I booked a plane ticket to NYC this week. I am so poor, but well-traveled. Or trying to be well-traveled anyway.

I am getting a cold.

I burnt myself out on people this week...I was not being a good introvert. Now I'm exhausted and uninspired.

So Long

JP 2/2007

Maybe there's a god
But I haven't seen his face round here in so long
He must have spared the rod
Cause this earth has been so spoiled for so long, so long
The weight of the world ground my heart into a pearl
Cold as the ocean and shiny as the sun
And I don't think it ever thawed
And it's kinda had me down for so long, so long

When I left South Dakota
I'd been stuck in wintertime for so long
My god I should have told ya
How my will to live had withered for so long, so long
Blood lines and star signs won't tell me how I'll take
And this poor farmer's almanac says nothing bout my state
It just says that I'll survive
Even dead comes back alive after so long, so long

--------------------------------------------------
Mom and Pop turned Big Box - welcome back
Now there's smoking laws and city blocks - welcome back
And the cost of living is cheaper one town over
One town over - welcome back
--------------------------------------------------

I drove in on a Sunday
Been hoping for my head to clear for so long
But I got lost along the way
In one second all those years were so gone, so gone
I crossed over on a highway through barriers and cones
This poor heart wanted badly but I couldn't see my home
Instead I just kept driving
And this car has been in gear for so long, so long
So long.

This is my 100th post.

I love that there is a smudge in that photo in the last post because I can't clean my mirror properly.

Things I am excited about:

March 6th, baby.

(Let's go driving around town to every Borders known to man, Beth and Lisa!)

Also, I have signed on to FAWM. I don't know how you say that but I imagine it's a lot like "FAAAAWWW-mwah." February Album Writing Month. Since being a vegan for 90 days only occupies about 45% of my thoughts daily, I thought I'd add in another timed and impossible-sounding challenge. I only write MAYBE...in a good year...10 acceptable songs. 14 in a month is scary. But if it will get my butt off the internet and into pen-and-paper-mode...so be it. I ain't sayin' they'll all be good, but so help me there will be 14 somethings by February 28th.

Hi.

Life is just...

SO DANG GOOD.
Thank you.

Snowy Austin Day

That's right. Snow. In Austin. Apparently we haven't had the stuff in 3 years. I'd like to think I brought it, just like I brought the Southern Charm and the Badass Barbeque to this state. Oh wait, that wasn't me? Well then.

Except it's more of a "dusting" than a "snow." But I get 2 days off of work plus the holiday on Monday meaning...a 2 day work week. And when you work for the government, you don't have to make the days up in June. SCORE. Apparently they build lots of flyovers here for the roads because it is so temperate usually, and then when it freezes those flyovers become little pinball machines of death. I ain't drivin' in it. Heck no.

I basically only have the strength to post in short bursts these days. Booyah.

I'm an aunt!

Well then. I know I've been an aunt for quite some time, but alas I was too young and stupid to really enjoy the babydom of any of my nieces and nephews. That's why I've claimed (manhandled...marauded...crusaded for) aunthood for Baby Lydia, whom was carried around in a little water sack of love for 9 months by Lisa. Lisa must have done a heck of a job with multivitamins, because this kid has hair!!! She is pretty much the most gorgeous little being. I'm not biased, and I'm no America's Next Top Model Judge either. I just know.

Rainy Austin Day

So, I guess I don't get the 2 feet of snow, but we are getting like 3 inches of rain tonight. I can handle that. I don't get cranky in the rain. Much.

Life is really good. Right now. I have always been kind of down on "the new year" and the resolution junk and I still am. If you don't like yourself enough to change something you want to change on December 16th or May 12th, why bother on January 1st? This is my view for the most part. However, I guess it is a good thing to evaluate yourself every so often and if January 1st is a date that people shoot for...more power.

January 1st did happen to be a good day for Jamie and I to start our veganism pact...90 days of no meat, eggs, or animal products. Eek. The nutty flavor of my soy latte agrees with this so far, though.

Anyway, I am psyched up about 2007. Not because of a resolution, but because of momentum. I think I am figuring out more and more that for things to "happen" -- I need to be the causation. There is no "it just happened." There is only "I worked hard to MAKE it happen." So bring it.

Now, to work!

Sched-yule.

That title cracks me up. I am so clever sometimes.

So I am packing (or blogging perhaps) tonight for my flight outta Austin-Bergstrom International Airport after work tomorrow. I am too excited. It's been a while. My November trip home was too whirlwind to count, and I am looking forward to watching movies with Mum whilst wrapped up in a blanket with snow outside. Yes.

But I have had some interesting results in trying to see people I thought it might be nice to see. My friends who have either moved from NM before me or who have moved INTO New Mexico and had friends in other states have described this feeling to me, but I guess I never got it. However, I have made attempts to contact certain people for a casual get together involving food, and about 1/8th of those I contacted have even ackowledged me. So that whole "you know who your friends are" vibe I got from the more-experienced ex-pats is true.

And I understand that most of my friends still run on a school schedule wherein students think they have a right to ignore people for a semester...I did it too. But I guess I wish I hadn't. And I am trying to make amends and I am trying to keep something going. Sometimes I guess you just have to let things go.

And might I add, the people who read this, or call me, or let me call them, or who I know I'll see because we just work that way...this is not about them. And my good friends are copious and this is not a "Woe is me, I'm lonely" post. I guess the "working world" and all my networking and such has made me expect perhaps simple acknowledgement of an email. It's pretty basic. And sometimes I do let voicemails go for way too long a time...and maybe some people work better by voice and some by text.

It just seems that those who I have made an effort with and who make an effort with me...even though they are busy in school or are having babies or changing jobs...those are the ones who are worth the phone tag anyway. Maybe it's best not to mourn the loss of those who chose to fall off the map. I only have so many hours in the day. They are probably saying the same thing about me.

Wow. I resolved my issue all in one blog ramble. :) I hope again this doesn't sound whiny, because it's just fact. And to you my buddies who ramble along with me in this crazy life, thank you. I really could not do it without you.

Good buy.

So, I buy a lot of stuff I don't really NEED. We all do. And sometimes I have the immense burning desire to sell it all, or give it away, or just chuck it off the balcony. I mean, I moved it 750 miles to Austin and I put it on a shelf and I have not touched it in 6 months. Is that what we call a "necessary" possession? But then again, some of it is just that keepsakey stuff we have to have. Things I WANT to look at maybe...3 months from now. Just to know where I've been and what I've done.

But I digress. I realized Sunday while driving to San Antonio for a house concert (Susan's not mine) that the purchases I made at the UNM Bookstore over a year ago are quite possibly some of the best-used items I own. I had gotten paid for a gig in UNM money, meaning I had $100 to blow on Lobo Goods. It took a good bit of wandering around to plan my attack. It was Fall of 2005, and I was graduating soon. I knew that post-graduation would require...a roadmap. So I bought an atlas. I was also feeling a bit nostalgic for my soon-to-be alma mater, and also a little bit cold...so I bought a black zip-up hoodie with LOBOS written across the front. I had also impulse purchased an iPod earlier that summer and decided...I needed the iTrip adapter for my car radio. Hells yeah.

So while driving to San Antonio on a lovely rainy Texas Sunday, wearing my Lobo hoodie and listening to a swath of random songs on a mix...and having to consult my atlas because MAPQUEST SUCKS and made up a street name entirely...(like...this street did not exist. And honest to goodness this was the one time I was thrilled to have the actual artist's cell phone number to get directions to a show, haha)...I realized I had gotten constant use out of this collection of Lobo-ized gear.

Those three items have gone on a lot of journeys with me and I thought it was the most random purchase at the time, but I chose well I guess.

Now to get rid of all the other crap around here!

MemeTime

Name your top 10 most played bands on iTunes

1. Shedaisy
   
2. Mary Chapin Carpenter
   
3. Rosanne Cash
   
4. Sugarland
5. John Jennings
   
6. Kathleen Edwards
   
7. Sara Evans
   
8. Susan G.
   
9. Dixie Chicks
   
10. Soul Miner's Daughter
    

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
"Six O'Clock News" I think on David Letterman. Ben and I bought the CD that night on Amazon. The rest is...well, I love Kathleen. Haha.

What is your favorite album of 2?

Stones in the Road

What is your favorite lyric that 5 has sung? Oh that JJ. I love:

"Maybe one day we can make our amends, but for now with all due respect please do not call. Cause I can't think of you without stalling again. I love you, goddamn you, that's all."

How many times have you seen 4 live?
Once. I hope to see them in Houston this spring, though! Loves.

What is your favorite song by 7?
"New Hometown" - and that was before she was all tabloided out. Oy. Poor Sara.

What is a good memory you have involving the music of 10?
The last semester of college I got really into Soul Miner's Daughter, and I would take my iPod with their CDs loaded and walk to Starbucks in Nob Hill on gloriously crisp fall days and enjoy a pumpkin spice latte and write for hours, and then I would walk home with more Soul Miner. I miss those days. Except I have more free time now and could do the same, haha. I guess I miss Nob Hill!

Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?
Black Cadillac, because it is about her father passing away, and I am really sad I only grew to appreciate Johnny Cash after he died.

What is your favorite lyric that 2 has sung?

Oh come on, one Chapin lyric? Ok. This one:

How did you get into 3?
Back when my grandma lived in Kansas she had Rosanne's album "King's Record Shop" on tape and after I started playing guitar I became obsessed with that album, especially "Green, Yellow, Red" with its awesome guitar solos and once I borrowed the tape and took it home to Albuquerque and copied it and mailed it back to Grandma. Those were ghetto media days.

What was the first song you heard by 1?
I know "Little Goodbyes" came out first but I hated them then...and then "I Will...But" came out and loved them, haha. I judged their image too quickly like everyone else does. I was just able to rise above bad marketing and recognize brilliant lyrics.

What is your favorite song by 4?
Sugarland has hit the nail on the head of my desire not to work a 9-5 on both of their CDs, the first being "Something More" and the new CD has "Settlin'" which I am obsessed with.

How many times have you seen 9 live?
Thankfully as of last Monday I can comfortably say: once.

What is a good memory you have involving 2?

Well, once I flew to Atlanta to meet a large group of people and conga around Chastain amphitheatre at her concert. And when I conga'd past the stage I flashed her a peace sign AND SHE WINKED AT ME. I am such a nerd. But man, if that was not one of the funnest days of my life.

Is there a song of 8 that makes you sad?
Well, there's this new song that I am sure has a title, but the killer line goes:

I like the feel of you next to me, but that's not love, that's geography.

Ouch.

What is your favorite album of 5?




What is your favorite lyric that 3 has sung?

God is in the roses
The petals and thorns
Storms out on the oceans
The souls who will be born
And every drop of rain that falls
Falls for those who mourn
God is in the roses and the thorns

What is your favorite song of 1?
Man, probably "Love Goes On" because it is just perfection lyrically, vocally, and instrumentally. Also Beth heard me awaken to it every day for about 4 months. Sorry, Beth.

What is your favorite song of 10?
Cross Ties -- my introduction to Jennifer Nettles singing non-Sugarland.

How many times have you seen 8 live?
Pfffffffffffffffffft. Seriously like too many to name.

What is your favorite album of 1?
Knock on the Sky, oddly not the album that contains my favorite song. It is a gem, and the antithesis of the sophomore slump.

What is a great memory you have considering 9?

Well. I don't think I have told many people this but I loved "Wide Open Spaces" and CMT had this program where they'd play a music video and people would write in and tell how that song affected their lives, and CMT would scroll the text while the video played. So I got my little blurb about Wide Open Spaces on CMT. I have it on VHS somewhere. Nerd.

What was the first song you heard by 8?
Wide Open Spaces

What is your favorite cover by 2?
Hm. I think maybe...Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen. She doesn't really need to do a lot of covers. Oh, and she does a mean Price cover, too.

One of the most beautiful things...

I have ever seen occurred this week while I was driving to choir practice. I was on I-35 going North, it had just turned cold and was in the 30's. It was about 6:00 PM, and the sun had mostly set. There were clouds in the sky so it was a greyish-green hue.

The interstate lights cast an orange glow along my path, and an ambulance with its lights flashing was ahead of me. It took the exit to 183 North, which involves looping back up over I-35, right over where I was driving.

So there I am listening to Imogen Heap's "The Walk" which is my new favorite song, and this ambulance is suspended above me in concrete on the ramp, and the lights are flashing in time to the song. And the orange-grey concrete against the green sky with the yellow ambulance and the flashing red lights to the beat of Imogen...wow. I can't explain it.

I'm so postmodern-industrial.

repentence and deconstruction

It took me a whole day realize how stupid the below post is. Good lord.

As with all freak outs a several things collapsed on me at once, and I over-reacted. Also, I don't take criticism well. Don't criticize me for that.

The below rant is mostly an inability to remember to count my blessings. It is also a fear of not getting what I want so much. I think that is normal.

Also, I said some silly things about the "product" I sell, and I want to make clear I don't mean like...my music. I mean...I think I can do better. And I feel like a 2nd grader who wants to do Calculus. I know I can do it but I don't have the tools yet. Or something. So while I will not force everyone who has bought my CD to burn it, I just hope...I can do better. That's all.

I am a whiny jerk. I love my life. I do. Sorry.

crank.

i am freaking sick and freaking tired. i don't even know of what. i am tired of scratching my way up this "thing" i have invented in my mind called a "path" that is probably going to disappoint me whatever way it turns out. i fear i have talked myself into one route to happiness. maybe should accept life as it is. and maybe i can't do anything better than a CD that is in my brain riddled with flaws when i listen to it. yeah, that's right. it ticks me off to listen to myself.

i am tired of sycophants i meet in this "music world" who falsely boost my ego probably because maybe i don't even know why. i've met some jerks lately.

i don't want to be a just another folk songwriter that maybe luckily uses "different words" to describe the same emotion every freaking human being feels and understands and doesn't need to be reminded of anyway. oh look, i can thumb through a thesaurus. i'm special.

i don't want a profession that can't solve world hunger and poverty. and nothing has so far. so i guess i'm out of luck. too bad.

i am sick of listening to music and comparing myself to it. i am never good enough.

i am tired of little conquests that keep me trying for the next week until that little conquest and false ego boost wears off and i am stuck with myself again.

i want to freaking move to freaking boston or alaska or paris where i don't know anybody and i won't meet anybody so no one will know me at all and maybe i'll write a crap book and they'll publish it when i die in my apartment alone because what a weird little hermit she was. geez. crap.

i am tired of working around people who seem to be self-actualized or who are at least working on something they feel passionate about. i am tired of phoning it in. i am jealous of them.

but as per the above rant, what the crap am i SUPPOSED to do? am i supposed to shut up and sit down and QUIT trying to "find myself" or am i supposed to just accept that life usually doesn't work out according to all those unhappy people wandering around out there?

maybe i'll regret this in a week. whatever.

Imogen F-in' Heap

Oh my. I just saw an amazing concert. Now, I realize that whenever I see a concert, I say: "This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and it has changed my life," but really...it's usually true. This time I learned a whole lot from a British girl with a fluffy pink dress, Bride-of-Frankenstein hair, and a see-through piano. Miss Imogen Heap, meet my list of life-changers.

She is pretty hypnotic and trance-inducing on her album "Speak For Yourself," but I was not prepared for the level of rock and roll goddess that Imogen is...she had the whole venue jumping up and down and she grooves like...well, a British girl on speed. Or something. She really is so very British, and says cute British things between songs. "Roight. Well then, are we all doing all right? Good." God love that accent.

That is one of her many keyboards that she hauls out and loops and mixes and it's insane. She starts the show by introducing her "band" -- and runs us through her whole set up from her Mac to her MIDI interface to her see-through grand piano shell that houses more electronics. It is so bizarre. It all worked well tonight, though her blog documents an equipment meltdown, which I am sure occurs sometimes. It's almost enough to make me sell my guitars and buy a keyboard and a pink dress, but then I think maybe wood and strings are a little simpler for me to handle. But maybe I can start hopping around. I'd like that.

Gimme Some Sugarland

Well. After deciding that the American work week should be 35 hours MAX, and more like 30 hours...and after catching up on my sleep finally, and after spending my birthday week contemplating my finances, future expenditures, savings, and investments (yes...I have investments now)...I took some time to chill with my newest vice acquisition. CDs (and NOT certificates of deposit, sorry) will always be a weakness. Screw iTunes. I wants me some liner notes and a disc I can rip and burn and rip again.

Oh yeah, so the new Sugarland CD kicks. I was a bit sad because after kicking the folky-songwriter member out of the band, it is utterly clear they are going for Nashville superstardom. But I have always harbored a secret love and admiration for the Nashvillians, and while I hate a lot of them, a lot of them make dang near perfect music. It's like a well-crafted pop song. You can't deny it's good. And Nashville music to me means giant stadiums full of pulsating fans and maybe a lead singer who can play an instrument...with song that speak to us all on a general level. Thankfully Sugarland offers that. (I guess secretly one day I want a giant stadium full of pulsating fans. Yeah, pretty much I want it).

Anyway, to put a fine point on it, Jennifer Nettles offers that. Man. I mean really. I own her pre-Sugarland albums from the folky days to the jazzy days to the rock days...and even if her music is different her voice sure as heck cannot be hidden. Beth once described Joss Stone's voice as "liquid sex," I think (right, Beth?). I think Jennifer's would be like..."liquid Southern sex on the rocks." Or something. I am just babbling now. Quit laughing, Beth.

And the songs address a lot of what I have been pondering..."normal lives" and "settling down" versus following dreams and all that junk. In a happy Nashville package. I win.

Up for this week: 3 days o' work and then Thanksgiving in the country!!! Log cabins and all!