Oy.

"Sometimes you know where you should go before you know the way."

Harrumph. I have decided there is no point to a resume, because you are...to use the over-used cliche...damned if you do and damned if you don't.

- If you don't use the standard format that millions of books and websites give you, you have done it incorrectly and no one will read it.

- If you DO use the standard format just like EVERYONE ELSE...it's boring, unimaginative, and no one will read it.

No one's gonna read it. People keep asking me what kind of job I want to do when I get to Austin. I don't know. I'd have it by now if I knew. I figure it will hit me in the face one day and I'll know. What has my work experience consisted of so far? Leading study strategies workshops, teaching labs, producing TV shows, teaching guitar lessons, office organization, selling pizza. Tell me the trend and maybe I can tell you what "kind" of job I want. The point is, I'm open. Ideally, it will be creative, allow me to write, allow me to work on multiple things at a time, and let me play music in my other life. This leaves many jobs open. I like that. I'm NOT floundering, as many well-meaning adults think when they give me that "poor Jana is just out of college and does not know what to do with herself" look. I DO know what I want. I just don't know how to do it yet.

Mmmm.

So that whole CD release shebang went REALLY well. And I had some freak out moments, even when we were hauling everything in with 50 minutes to get a PA system, merch table, and food table set up. But you know what? It was awesome. And do you know why?

I looked around the room when we were playing (I do that to keep myself busy, haha) and there were SO MANY people there who helped us out...from Eric who loaned us the recording equipment to make the CD and the PA system to use that night...to my cousin who sold CDs like a pro...to Writer who helped us set up and made the munchie of the century for people to take home...to Josh who found us the job that paid for the CD and helped plan the whole event...and on and on and on. And to all the people who heard our desperate pleas to show up because we didn't want to feel lame!!

The moral of the story is, the night was based around some music on a disc, but it wasn't about me and Ben or what guitars we played or how many brownies we had. It really showed me that nothin' in life is done...just by yourself. Even if you sit down a write a poem or a song from YOU, someone gave you those life experiences you wrote about. Someone has to be there to listen. So the night was all about how lucky and blessed I am to have this huge community around me, and I'm thrilled to be a part of it.

End mushiness.

AAAAAHHHH!!

So the big CD party is 26 hours away and I am low on gas (literally) but quite excited and not having any sort of fear or trepidation. More morbid curiosity. Who will show up? Will we have enough brownies?

THAT'S why I'm low on gas. I get things I need one at a time, instead of having one well-planned store trip. Oh well.

I was thinking you know you're in a good place when you come to the equivalent of a "test" and you're pretty cool about it. In school, I always studied and did pretty well on tests, but I ALWAYS had nerves beforehand. Nerves drive me nuts. They mess with my system. So, taking essay tests is probably not my calling. Having a big gig where anyone could show up? A test. And there will be butterflies, but that's supposed to happen. It's all good. Feeling ok.

I'll probably post later tonight from a fetal position weeping uncontrollably. ;)

Saturday Thots

I just found out what the new Starbucks drinks are...Spring brings about a Blackberry Green Tea Frappucino (blackberry being the *it* flavor), and Summer will bring a BANANA frappucino. Banana/Coconut or something, to be specific. This makes me happy. Must store up the bank account reserves, hehheh. They're also going to make the Green Tea latte a standard thing, which is awesome. I had one at a Seattle's Best in...Seattle, and it was quite good.

So I got a new CD by one of my favorite bands this week, and it's roller-coastered me. At first I was thinking nothing on it really matched the quality of previous albums...then I kept waking up in the AM with a new track stuck in my head, so it apparently passes the good melody test. Then I realized more lyrics are resonating with me the more I listen...I guess reading them in the liner notes alone does not do them justice. The music definitely adds to how things resonate. And I should know this by now, but I'm lame. So now I'm thinking it's all ok and love my band again. Good times. I hope I always care this much about my favorite artists, even if I have 5 kids and live on a farm. It makes life entertaining.

I'm having songwriter block. I am writing plenty down, but nothing is translating melodically or anything. I guess patience and persistence are the keys. Oh joy. BLAH.

Legends

After seeing Walk the Line this week and hearing Rosanne Cash's stellar new CD "Black Cadillac" -- which makes even more sense after watching the lives of her father, mother, and step-mother play out on screen -- I have been quite sad that I will never see Johnny or June Carter Cash on stage. Sometimes I think that "legends" have been built up in society's minds for so long that everything thinks they are good because everyone else thought they were good. I guess that is the definition of a legend. And I usually try not to buy into that...I find it almost akin to listening to Britney Spears because she's No. 1 on the charts (that means she's GOOD, right?). In reality, Britney is the most watered down, safe, useless artist on a heap of 100's who should be paid better attention to. I think the "legend" status might have some of that unfortunate popularity contest thought to it. The Cash/Carter family though...I don't see as being watered down at all. In fact, I see them as the All-American family...steeped in tradition (June's parents basically invented American folk music), full of issues (alcoholism and drug use and hating your father, anyone?), full of redemption (the God-kind and the people-kind), centered on music (or is that just me?), at one with the highway (that's very American), screwed up kids all over (at least one of June's kids has a heroin problem), with a great love story or 3 thrown in. Someone put Johnny on the quarter.

This legend-seeing-regret has also caused me to spend more money than I should on a ticket to see Bob Dylan.

Bob Freakin' Dylan. I am excited. Here's to many more legends to come.

Jana's Fake Italiano Chicken

I knew I was cooking dinner tonight, and I knew it involved chicken...but I wasn't sure of anything beyond that. I discovered that we had a box o' cherry tomatoes and some parmesean cheese. That screams Italian to me! Here's what I did (for a serving of 1, to make life easy):

1 chicken breast
3 cherry tomatoes, cut in half lengthwise
2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
oregano and basil (to taste)
parmesean cheese (to taste)

Preheat the oven to 375. Right. So just slit the chicken breast to make a little pocket. That sounds gory.

In a bowl, mix the cherry tomato halves, 1 tbs of olive oil, and however much of the oregano, basil, and cheese you'd like. Stuff the chicken!

Put it in a greased pan, drizzle the remaining olive oil on the chicken, and add some cheese or oregano/basil on top for cuteness purposes.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 45 minutes. I served it with some olive oil-y pasta and a touch more oregano on that...quite good. Try it.

The Road Trip Song :)

My life is just an ocean
Crammed into a wishing well
I am no deeper than a map dot
But I am curious as hell
So I will take a penny for your thoughts
And give you back your change
Cause there is nothing to be said;
This town will never feel my pain

I know...I know

Gas station roadmap
Got the whole world right there laid out flat
I won't get lost nowhere
The folks back home all said their prayers
The only thing I own
Is where these four wheels kiss the road
So wherever I am
I am home

I wandered like Columbus
Lost and fearful of my world
There's a lot to conquer
For a 5 foot five inch girl
And I thought I'd found my bearings
Out in North New Mexico
But you can't get through Santa Fe
If you ain't got the soul

I know...I know

Gas station roadmap
Got the whole world right there laid out flat
I won't get lost nowhere
The folks back home all said their prayers
The only thing I own
Is where these four wheels kiss the road
So wherever I am
I am home

There are roads I have not traveled
That are probably just as good
Where the hills are just as pretty
If they don't say Hollywood
I will try and beat the traffic
In the early morning haze
I just cross my fingers and my heart
And hope they point the way

Gas station roadmap
Got the whole world right there laid out flat
I won't get lost nowhere
The folks back home all said their prayers
The only thing I own
Is where these four wheels kiss the road
So wherever I am
I am home

(c) 2006

Mmmm Heat

Hello people. Or people. Or maybe just me, whoever reads this blog. I have returned from wandering and will maybe post about that later. Right now I just want to post SOMETHING.

So I will wax poetic about my top culinary love, HOT STUFF. I mean...chile. The best way to indulge this is to attend the International Fiery Foods Show here in Albuquerque, with hundreds of vendors all selling and sampling the best of the best. I found out through my heat loving buddy Beth that I would be in town in time to attend the last day. After two scoops of ice cream, tearing up, wheezing continously, and losing my taste buds for a while...it was so worth it. We probably tasted 30 kinds of salsa, plus a wide array of BBQ sauces, marinades, and some other interesting things like Jalapeno hot chocolate and red chile pecans. Glorious, all.

Least favorites: Spicy ketchup. Like...why? Also, there is a brand of salsa for kids, who don't like hot foods. So their label that says "hot" is really a mild salsa at best...what's the point? Just buy mild salsa. They marketed it saying you could actually taste the flavors of the salsa. Too bad the flavors were not stellar to begin with and the point of salsa is TANG. Harrumph.

BEST: http://www.greenbandit.com - The Green Bandit Guys. They are great. I remember their Cilantro Habanero Sauce from 2 years ago and have regretted not buying it, so when we say them we got really excited. I think they were flattered or something, because we walked away with a great deal on all of their flavors plus free t-shirts.

Why is it so good? It's basically a vinegar sauce with habanero (not too much), and a BUNCH of cilantro. Like...it looks like soupy mulched cilantro in a bottle. But their herbs are all fresh, not dried, and they bottle it so that the freshness stays put. Whatever they do, it works. I put some on my stir-fry last night and it was glorious. They have a non-hot version too, for the straight up cilantro lovers.