Back then.

Tonight I went to a graduation party for a high school bud of mine. I actually know a decent sized group of graduating seniors this year, and it was a grand time hanging out with them and getting a little nostalgic about that time in my life. They're good kids...I kind of want to shelter them from the storm I know is coming in the next 4 or 5 years, but I guess they have to live it too. All I can say is, welcome to a beautiful hell.

When I left, a couple of my girls were sitting in the street, backs propped up against a car, picking gravel, and having what looked like a serious conversation. It immediately took me back to those nights of summer scheming, best friends forever, the feelings of being untouchable and invincible rushing through your skin. You feel so new and independent, but a safe bed and Mom & Dad are never that far away. You've got it all planned out, and those people who are so "present" for you now are always key players and always will be.

Now I'm about to move 1000 miles away, and all the scheming in my life goes on in my own head. I've gotten used to the fact that no one's going to go with me on these schemes...we all have our own. Best friends forever? Perhaps this happens sometimes...I've found that circles of friends with no superlatives attached work pretty well. Sometimes I still share a night of star-gazed dreaming with someone, sometimes the breeze blows just right, the traffic is quiet, and the neighbors have all turned out their lights -- and that's the moment when all the scheming seems so tangible. But it's not often, and it's harder to do. Siiigh.