Freak Out

So when I was a sophomore in college and hit my first "really hard" semester in college (thank you, WWI History and International Politics), I developed what I termed an eye condition. I had never felt anything like it before, like something was scraping my eyeball when I blinked. It was red. I was sure I was dying. I took myself to the nurse and she told me quite unenthusiastically that it was a simple stye, and if I applied a warm washcloth to it a few times a day it would go away.

This was my first clue that I perhaps suffered physical symptoms of stress before I really even noticed that I was mentally stressed. I like to think my body tries to "gift" me by bypassing the brain and just "getting it out" with some sort of physical issue.

Fast forward to getting that tattoo. It was great for 2 weeks. It healed fine. Looks great. Then, last weekend in Austin, I noticed my leg was itching. So I scratched. Then I noticed a bump. Then 6 bumps. Then a good 6x4 inch patch of my leg around the tattoo was suddenly broken out in pimple-like bumps that itched like crazy and were bright red.

Uh oh. I had to drive back to ABQ the day I got kind of concerned about it, so I emailed Ashley in the am before we left and asked if she could do a Google on "tattoos+rashes." She did one better and called my tattoo establishment. They said this happens and is actually a reaction to the lotion I've been using for 2 weeks around the tattoo. After some follow up research (after Ashley calmed my fears on the road because I was so sure we'd just have to pull over and amputate), I have decided the rash appeared due to an unfortunate set of circumstances:

1. The tattoo area being sensitive.
2. I am not a lotion user, so my skin was all..."What up with THAT?"
3. According to my reading, the reaction is caused my clogged pores...and hampered by humidity. Hello Austin. My pores probably had a beach party when I stepped out of the car, complete with Go-Go's tunes and ugly towels.
4. The aforementioned stress channeling. I'm a little freaked out by moving and job hunting.

So here we are a week later and I'm still rashy. It has improved and I checked with a nurse/friend who assured me it is not an infection and I am not dying. However, I think the stress issue has picked up on the rash, because I have 5 little rashy dots on my OTHER (non-tattooed) leg and last night, one lone itchy dot popped up on my forearm. WEIRD. My limbs have also gone through various stages of minor swelling in the past few days. Right now it's my left hand, last night it was my right.

If this is what is saving me from that "pit of the stomach" sick stressed out feeling, I can deal with it. It will make a GREAT story one day, once I'm reassured I won't collapse in a rashy heap.

And no, I don't regret the tattoo, which I will appreciate and love long after my rashiness ends. If it wasn't this, I'm sure my body would have found some other kneejerk reaction to my freaking out like...knee jerking. Haha. Ha. And while I moaned about how this was some sort of "punishment" for inking...that's me being dramatic. My decision to ink was not rash (HA!), it was well planned, and I examined my motivations quite carefully before doing it. It's something I'm happy with and don't regret. So if anyone's shaking their head and thinking "Tsk!" right now...bug off. And I still love you.

I end with a poem from the Stye Days (circa 2002):

Why is there a stye in my eye?
Oh my.
It makes me want to cry.
It makes me want to die.
I did not ask for a stye, I asked for pie.
Did the Big Guy in the Sky mishear my cry for pie?
Did he give me a stye?
He could have at least given me some bread of rye.
Why oh why?
Bye-bye cacti.
My eye is not beautified.
I can no longer apply my eye to the butterfly in the sky.
I can go twice as high.
I ask that next time an eye has a stye, please notify.
Pacify and personify.
The eye of the samurai.