Oh my gaaaaawd.

So tired. So so so tired. Right now I am trying to resolve the issue of having two separate mailing lists for gigs in Albuquerque and Austin, because it's complicated to to have two but people in ABQ don't wanna hear when I'm playing in TX and vice versa...but the good news is I am doing this because I got a gig at a local Farmer's Market this weekend and I need to promote! Woohoo! I have always wanted to play one of those things, so I asked. And it worked. Always ask.

I had a hell of a weekend. It started lamely enough...I had plans of laundry and cleaning. I enaged in some thrift store wandering whereupon I scored some awesome wall decoration...


and had to explain to the lady behind me in line that no, Civil War songs sung by large choral groups was not my musical taste. Then I gave her a business card and told her to come to a gig. She was pleasant. Her name was Carmen.

Then I went to see Susan play and somehow out of that I ended up in Wimberley, TX on Saturday night at her house whereupon I partook of the ale and wore a mullet wig while laughing at fart jokes. Those are just good times all around. I slept out on the covered back porch which totally just made me want to own a house with a back porch because it was pretty sweet. Although you'd have to live in the country, because if you had a back porch in the city you would be listening to the sweet sound of vagabonds tramping through your yard instead of crickets, I am pretty sure. So Lisa, mayhaps you can just fly to my farm in Texas and sleep on my porch and then once every five years or so you can go to my farm in Virginia, haha. (I love how I invent fake money with which to buy fake houses).

So I went to sleep on Sunday morning at 5 AM and awoke at the butt crack of 7 AM to drive back into Austin and be at the Austin Hot Sauce Festival at 9 AM. That's a lot of AMs all in a row, people. Too many for me to handle.



me. awake. sunglasses to dull the brightness of the AMs. gah.

However, since this volunteer position had turned into a paid one and I am a poor little FFAer (Future Farmer of America, you know it), I got my arse up there. Whereupon I was informed I would be working in the beer tent. Whereupon I then stood around looking at the grass for 3 hours because you can't sell beer on Sunday in Texas until noon. At least I was getting paid. So for five straight hours I explained, "We have Ziegenbock on draft and Bud, Bud Light, and Bud Select in cans and they all cost four dollars. Yes, four dollars for a can of Bud. You're the one that came to the Hot Sauce Festival, buddy." No no, everyone was very nice and happy that I was selling them beer because it was 100 degrees out and mouths were probably burning at a whole 106 degrees.

I say 106 because come on. I have been to the International Fiery Foods Show in Albuquerque and no little park event with tables set up in the grass is gonna top a convention center full of stuff from around the world. I mean, it's cute that they try, and it's cute that they call it "hot sauce" even though salsa is not sauce and neither is jam and neither is guacamole. And I'm sure the habanero stuff was dang hot and it's great to have a taste of home around here...but Texans still don't understand that water and beer are just swilling the capsaicin around in your mouth. I suggested to one person that she should try dairy or honey to kill the burn instead of water and she was like..."hot sauce and ice cream? Ew."

Some people don't know what they're missing.