Redeeming qualities of a day

Well, I was being a little sh*t today. I kind of think maybe I earned the right. Things started out ok, then some job stuff didn't pan out...which, when you have a slew of days (or perhaps 2 months) of job stuff "not panning out"...it gets you. And I had the unfortunate circumstance of having to TURN DOWN a temp job. That was horrific. I had to do it, though, as I have family time scheduled this weekend (which is fabulous). But I've been sick. And I made a list of all the jobs I have applied to since moving and it is LONG. I did it to prove that I haven't been sitting on my butt for 2 months, but it only served as a long list of rejection. So I hopefully sent off another cover letter yesterday, only to receive an email saying, "Yeah we already filled that position." So WHY, then, dear Museum...was the posting STILL ON YOUR WEBSITE IN BIG BOLD LETTERS?

So I whined to people including my mom and I cried and I watched 2 hours of Sex and the City and I ate WAY TOO MUCH PAD THAI so then I felt just...well, ick. Then I opened my fortune cookie that came with said pad thai. It said,

"Stop searching. Happiness will come to you."

That made me smile. For once. Then I had the fortunate circumstance of getting a last minute gig (it pays to be a reliable, non-alcoholic musician). I wasn't really feeling, you know...the MOJO...but I ain't turning down a gig in Austin, Texas. So I haul my crap over there and set up and pray I don't choke on my mucous that has been settling in my throat for the past 4 days. And I play. And some people like it. And some people clap. And some people buy CDs. And tip me. (Good lord, if you ever walk past a musician and have a buck...give it to them. You never know who's unemployed and depressed but overall a nice person that just needs a buck in their tip jar to make them feel human). And afterwards the awesome person who booked me opened up some more musical doors which is really, just what I have been looking for when door after door has been slammed repeatedly and really...here I go into self-pity mode again.

I questioned every turn I ever took today. I can see a path way back there that would have been the path of least resistance. And I can still make my way back, but would that be the right thing? My dear friend and life guru told me today that I haven't taken any wrong turns, because they all lead me to where I am this very minute, and that's where I'm supposed to be at any given time. Which is true. All you can really ask of yourself is to be present for the moment you're living in. I gotta remember that.

And what that fortune cookie told me, too.